Your Star
by acsbabyangelgirl
Summary: Sequel to Don't Leave Me. They're engaged, and expecting a baby. But things aren't going as planned... FINISHED
1. Chapter 1

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Your Star

A/n: Okay, so I lied. I couldn't wait for **Straightjacket Feeling** to be finished, so I'll write it and post it AFTER I finish this series. But, before I write a ton of this one, I need your opinions. Should I stop at the baby's birth, or at the wedding? I'm not going to tell you which order they're going to come in yet. I'll post a second chapter after I get 10 reviews telling me what to do (that way I can tell which one comes first!).

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DISCLAIMER: I do not own Law & Order: SVU, nor do I own the characters I mention that are on the show. If I did, there would be lots of flying monkeys, Cassidy would still be on the SVU, and there would be more **FEMALE**** detectives on the show.**

Olivia leaned over the commode, making her daily deposit to the porcelain bank. When she was done, she brushed her teeth and went to wake up Kaitlyn for school. If nothing else, her pregnancy was making sure that she and Kaitlyn were up on time every day.

"Kaity, wake up," she said, shaking her daughter. The girl opened her eyes and looked at the clock. "No, you can't have five more minutes. You have to eat breakfast," Olivia told her, pulling back the covers.

"You don't eat," Kaitlyn reminded her.

"You don't want to see what would happen if I did," Olivia remarked. Kaitlyn grudgingly got out of the bed and went into the kitchen to eat. Olivia got into the shower so that she wouldn't have to see any food. When she was done, she hurried to get dressed so that Elliot wouldn't be waiting on her. It was her first day back at work, and she didn't want to be late, even if she was riding a desk. She still hadn't told Cragen that she was pregnant, so that was on the day's agenda as well.

"Mom, Elliot's downstairs. He says Mrs. Prescott is going to kidnap him again if you don't hurry," Kaitlyn said, picking up her backpack. Olivia walked out of her bedroom and grabbed her coat. The two then hurried out to save Elliot from Mrs. Prescott's really bad oatmeal cookies.

"She almost got me," Elliot joked, smiling and waving at Mrs. Prescott through her window.

"One of these days, I'm going to make you suffer through a batch of her cookies, so you'll understand just how good you've got it," Olivia smirked. She got into the front seat of Elliot's car and waved at Kaitlyn, who had walked two cars down to where Heather and Amanda Lawson were waiting with their mother for her carpool.

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Olivia and Elliot entered the bullpen together and Olivia threw her jacket into her locker before sitting down at her desk to start working. She rolled her eyes at the amount of paperwork that had already found its way to her desk. "Did Munch's desk puke on mine while I was out?" she asked.

"Honestly, it didn't look like that when I left yesterday," Elliot told her.

"Sorry, Liv. There wasn't anywhere else to put those," Munch said, walking in. He gave her a quick hug before starting to sift through the piles of cases on her desk. "Case came in late last night, and someone had the audacity to send us all this shit related to our victim."

"What is all of it?"

"Case files. Apparently our girl gets around," he replied.

"Good luck on that one. And if you don't mind, could you find somewhere else to put all this? I kind of need a desk," Olivia said, smiling. She turned to Elliot and raised her eyebrows. That look told him what she was about to do.

"Do you want me to…" he started.

"Please," she cut him off. He nodded and the two went over and knocked on the door of Cragen's office. When he replied Olivia opened the door and the two walked in.

"Hey Olivia," he said. He motioned for them to sit down. "What's up?"

"We need to talk to you, Don," she said. She took Elliot's hand because she was nervous, and squeezed on it.

"What's up?" he asked again, looking from one detective to the other.

"Olivia and I are…" Elliot began.

"Dating. I know," Cragen said, still watching them. Olivia felt much of the weight of the world leaving her shoulders. "There's more, isn't there?"

"We're engaged," Elliot replied. Liv bit her lip, waiting for the reply. Cragen smiled.

"It's about time," he said. Even more of the world's weight was lifted as she heard his words.

"I'm pregnant," Olivia said, biting her lip again. Cragen raised his eyebrows.

"Now that, I wasn't expecting," he said. "When did you find out?"

"While I was in the hospital. So I'll be riding a desk longer than you thought," she said. He smiled.

"Well then, I have to say congratulations. Just remember that I do have to inform the Morris Commission," he told them.

"That part's kind of hard to forget."


	2. Chapter 2

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Your Star

"Olivia, can I talk to you for a second?" Casey asked, walking into the precinct. Olivia got up and followed Casey up to the crib. "I thought I should tell you first."

"Tell me what?" Olivia asked.

"I'm moving, Liv. I've been offered a job… in Detroit. I'm not going to be prosecuting Nicolai Castigari," she told her.

"What?"

"Liv, even if I wasn't moving, I couldn't do it. We're friends." She paused for a moment. "They've already hired a new ADA. She's good, Liv. Possibly better than I am," Casey told her. "He's not going to get off, Liv. She can nail this guy."

"Who?"

"Her name is Alexis something… I can't remember her last name. She should be here soon," Casey said. "Liv, you're my friend. If I thought there was any way that she would lose this case, I wouldn't leave."

"You'd better be right about this girl, Casey. Because if he gets off, he's going to come looking for me and Kaitlyn first thing. And I know exactly what he would do, too," Olivia said. Casey nodded.

"I know, Liv. But we've got an open and shut case. There isn't any gray area, and there is no way the jury will acquit."

"Casey, Kaitlyn trusts you. How am I supposed to get her to let this new person in?"

"I'll talk to her, Liv. Alex and I can go pick her up from school this afternoon, and I'll explain it to her," Casey said. "I'm sorry, Liv."

"You'll have to come back… you know that, right?" Liv said.

"I'll come visit."

"For the wedding," Liv said. Casey glanced down at Liv's hand.

"It's about time," Casey replied, giving her a hug.

"That seems to be everyone's opinion. Including the kids."

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Alexis Cabot walked into the 16th Precinct Special Victims Unit squad room, unaware of the commotion she was about to cause. She knew it would be strange; this was Alexandra's territory, or it had been, before her death.

Katharine O'Kelley was the first person to notice her standing there. "Can I help you?"

"I'm supposed to be meeting Casey Novak here," Alexis said.

"She's up in the crib. She should be back down soon," O'Kelley told her. Alexis pushed back her blonde hair and leaned against an empty desk. It wasn't long before Casey and Olivia descended the stairs. Olivia was shocked to see her standing there; Alexis could tell that Olivia knew exactly who she was.

"Good, you're here," Casey said, walking over. "Katharine, where's everyone else?"

"Munch, Fin and the Captain have an interrogation going, Elliot went to the lab, and Cassidy's gone for doughnuts," O'Kelley replied. Alexis raised an eyebrow.

"Six detectives?" she asked.

"Yeah. Why?"

"Alex said four," Alexis told her.

"There used to only be four. O'Kelley is new, and Cassidy's been temporarily reassigned here," Casey explained.

"You must be Alex's sister," Olivia said.

"Yeah. Our parents had a wicked sense of humor. Alexandra, Alexander, and Alexis. Three Alexes in one family," Alexis said.

"Sounds… interesting," Katharine replied.

"You have no idea," Alex replied.

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"I'm guessing Katharine told you the news," Olivia said, walking up behind Elliot as he poured a cup of coffee.

"Yeah. Sucks that Casey's leaving," he said.

"El, she looks like Alex. It's Cabot's little sister," Olivia replied.

"What?"

"Our new ADA is Alexandra Cabot's younger sister. And I'm telling you, if it wasn't for the ten year age difference, they could be twins. They're almost identical, even down to the way they wear their hair," Olivia told him.

"That's kind of scary," Elliot said.

"Yeah. Munch, Fin, and the captain don't know yet."

"And you want me to tell them," Elliot said.

"I want to know if we should wait until she comes back or go ahead and tell them what's up," Olivia told him. He looked down into his coffee cup.

"How many cups have you had since this morning?" he asked.

"None. It's bad for the baby. Now stop avoiding my question," Olivia replied. Elliot sighed.

"I don't know. But what I do know is that you need coffee," he told her.

"Caffeine is bad for the baby," she said.

"So then I'll go find you some decaf."

A/n: Okay, so I can just imagine these guys without coffee, and I must say it's pretty entertaining. Maybe that'll be my next one-shot!


	3. Chapter 3

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Your Star

"You're doing it again," Kaitlyn said, looking up at her mother. They were sitting at the kitchen table, Kaitlyn doing her homework as Olivia tried to concentrate on some paperwork.

"What?"

"Spacing out. What happened?" she asked.

"Casey introduced you to Alexis, right?" Olivia asked. Kaitlyn nodded. "Alexis is a friend's younger sister."

"Okay… so what's the big deal?"

"Alexandra Cabot died a few years ago. She was our ADA, before Casey. She tried to prosecute a man who worked for Cesar Velez, and Velez had her shot," Olivia replied. "Alexis and Alexandra could be twins."

"I didn't know… I saw it in the paper and all, but I didn't realize…"

"You couldn't have known, Kaity. I never told you." Olivia went back to the paperwork. Kaitlyn continued to watch her mother. It was only a few minutes before Olivia gave up on her paperwork and closed the folder, pushing it back into her bag. "What do you want for supper? Elliot's coming over, and I'm really not in the mood to cook."

"Chinese," Kaitlyn suggested.

"Think again. I have to be able to eat this, and Chinese is really bad coming back up," Olivia told her.

"Thanks for the info," Kaitlyn said, thoroughly disgusted.

"It's my job."

"It's your job to make me want to puke?"

"Don't say puke," Olivia reprimanded, pushing herself away from the table and going into the bathroom. Kaitlyn turned on the television to drown out the sound.

"Sorry," Kaitlyn said, as her mother returned to the room.

"It's okay. Just don't say that word around me again. What about pizza?" Olivia asked.

"Pineapple," Kaitlyn replied, turning off the TV.

"And mushroom," her mother replied. Kaitlyn wrinkled her nose.

"On your side, maybe. That doesn't sound like an appealing combination."

"Pineapple pizza sounds nasty to begin with. Which is why you're getting a medium pineapple to yourself and I'm having mushroom," Olivia told her.

"What about Elliot? He doesn't like mushrooms."

"He can deal. I'm pregnant."

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Elliot looked up at Olivia and shook his head. He'd been doing that all morning. "Stabler, what the hell do you want?" she asked. She was very bitchy without her morning cup of coffee anyway, but it had been three weeks so she was really pissed off.

"I just can't figure it out," he said.

"Figure what out?"

"How you can be so mad and still look gorgeous," he replied. Olivia started to make a smart remark, but couldn't think of anything. Finally she sighed.

"Shut up, Stabler," she said, the edge gone from her voice. A moment later, Elliot could see her begin to smile.

"Hey, it worked, didn't it? I got you to smile."

"Only because I can't stay mad at you. You won't let me," she replied, putting down her pen. She looked up at him. "Why?"

"Because I hate seeing you in a bad mood."

"Or because you just like being a smartass," she added.

"That too. But you're even prettier when you smile," he said.

"You make this entirely too hard, Stabler," she told him, picking her pen back up.

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Olivia smiled as she opened the door. Elliot didn't even bother to take off his coat before he leaned over to kiss her. "Where's Kaitlyn?" he asked, pulling away after a moment.

"Prepping for tomorrow with Alexis," she replied. "I'm supposed to go get her in an hour." Elliot nodded and wrapped his arms around her.

"Are you ready?" he asked. She sighed.

"As ready as I'll ever be. It's different, coming from this side of it all," she told him. He pulled her closer to him and kissed the top of her head.

"You'll do fine. You're telling the truth. That's all that matters," Elliot told her.

"What matters is getting the bastard who stole three years of my life off of the streets. Making him pay for taking my daughter away from me. Making him pay for what he did to her, and to me." She was quickly becoming hysterical. The pressure from the past few weeks had finally begun to catch up with her.

"He'll pay, Olivia. This case is airtight. Foolproof, even. Alexis knows what she's doing, and he's going to go down. But right now, you need to calm down. You getting upset isn't going to help anything," he reminded her. She nodded and took a few deep breaths, leaning her head against his chest.

"It's just too much, El. It's too much. I've got a sixteen year old, a wedding to plan, work, and with the babies on the way…"

"Babies?" he asked.

"What?"

"You said babies, as in plural," he told her. She shut her eyes.

"A baby on the way, and not enough sleep," she replied, finally finishing the tirade she had begun. Elliot smiled.

"You know, they say a woman can some times sense if she's having multiples," he said. Olivia rolled her eyes.

"Don't say it, El. Not until after this nightmare of a trial is over. I've already got too much going on as it is, and I don't need that idea popping into my head every few minutes," she said.

A/n: Hmm… and that is true: some women actually know they're having twins before the doctor figures it out. They also often know the sex before it can actually be determined.


	4. Chapter 4

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Your Star

A/n: Okay, just a quick note. In a review someone implied something about Alexis and Alexandra. They ARE sisters, nothing more, nothing less. And by sisters, I mean the dictionary definition: two females who have the same parents. There is no greater significance to the names than that they have weird parents. I swear.

Olivia stared at the solid wooden doors, waiting for someone to come out and tell her something. Kaitlyn had been called in almost an hour earlier, and Olivia hadn't seen her since. She was beginning to get worried… it shouldn't take that long, unless there were details Kaitlyn hadn't told her. It wasn't very long before Kaitlyn came out of the court room, followed soon after by Alexis.

"How bad is it?" Olivia asked. Alexis smiled.

"Two jurors were crying. It looks like they'll convict. The judge called a ten minute recess so the ladies of the jury could pull themselves together," she replied. Olivia just nodded. She was beginning to get anxious, wanting it to all be over.

"Mom, relax," Kaitlyn said. She hugged her mother. "It's okay."

"I just want this over with, so we can all move on. I'm sick of having to think about what he might do if he isn't convicted," Olivia told her.

"We have several police officers who saw him shoot you, plus the evidence of abuse and trafficking. He's going to spend the rest of his life in prison," Alexis said. She glanced at her watch. "I'd better get back. It's not going to be much longer, Liv. I promise."

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Olivia waited for Alexis to begin questioning her. "Miss Benson, how long were you married to Nicolai Castigari?"

"Three years before the divorce was finalized," Olivia replied. She and Alexis had agreed that it was best to not use the title Detective.

"Did he ever hurt you? Hit you?" Olivia felt like she couldn't breathe. She wasn't ready to face him. After a moment, Alexis began to worry. "Olivia?"

"Yes. Not… not at first, but after a couple of months it started."

"Why did he hit you?"

"He wanted children. I wanted to wait. I was still in college, and I didn't want to try and raise a child between classes. He refused to accept that," Olivia replied. She took a deep breath and waited for Alexis to continue.

"Why didn't you leave him?" Alexis asked.

"I was afraid. He told me that no one would believe me. He never left any bruises."

"How long had you been married when you became pregnant?"

"A little over a year."

"Did he hit you while you were pregnant?" Olivia glanced at Nico. He was smiling at her.

"No. But after she was born, it started again. He wasn't as careful as he had been before," Olivia told her.

"He left bruises?"

"Yes."

"Why didn't you report the abuse then, take your daughter away?" Alexis asked. This was the question Olivia dreaded more than any other. She hadn't told them the whole story before, but she was under oath, and she felt she had to.

"For the same reason I never told anyone that my mother beat me. I was afraid. I thought I loved him," she said. Alexis's eyebrows raised. That wasn't the answer Olivia had given her before, but it fit in with the line of questioning. Before she could ask another question, Olivia continued. "I was planning to take Kaitlyn and run, but he left with her before I had the chance."

"Nothing further, your honor," Alexis said, sitting down. In reality, she had more questions. But Olivia's last answer had said it all.

"Miss Benson? Odd, I thought it was Detective," Robert Sedaris, the defense attorney said, standing up.

"Only when I'm on duty. Since I don't have my gun or badge on me, it's still Miss," Olivia said. She didn't even know him, but the fact that he was representing such scum made her dislike him.

"You said something about a divorce… Did my client ever sign those papers?" he asked.

"No. A judge ended our marriage without his signature. He'd disappeared; no one could find him or Kaitlyn anywhere," Olivia explained.

"So my client had no say in this divorce?"

"He had his say the day he took Kaitlyn and didn't come back."

"Did you even try to look for them?"

"Of course I did. I filed missing persons reports and did everything else I could think of," Olivia told him. He was beginning to make her angry.

"But you said you didn't want any children. Why would you look for a child you didn't want?" he asked. Olivia closed her eyes, trying to compose herself before she spoke.

"I never said I didn't want children. I said I wanted to wait. Kaitlyn was six months old when Nico left, and I loved her. I've never stopped loving my daughter, Mr. Sedaris." Olivia was fuming. How dare this man accuse her of not loving her own child?

"Then why did you give up?"

"What was I supposed to do? It had been four years. Even if I had found her she wouldn't have known who the hell I was!"

"Then how did she finally find you?"

"I don't know, Mr. Sedaris. Maybe you should have asked her that question when she was on the stand." Olivia was ready to punch this man's light's out. Normally she could keep her cool, but he was pissing her off more than anyone ever had, with the possible exception of Nick Ganzner.

"Nothing further."

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Olivia walked out of the court room and straight into Elliot's arms. Kaitlyn had called him not long after she'd finished testifying, knowing her mother would need him. "He tried to make me look like a horrible mother, El," she said. She leaned her head on his shoulder and began to sob.

"You're a great mother, Liv. Anyone with half a brain can see that," he whispered. He gently kissed her cheek as she continued to sob. He gently led her to a bench and sat down, still holding her in his arms. "Just look at Kaitlyn. Look at my kids. You're more of a mother to them than you could ever know. They all love you, and so do I."

"I stopped looking, El. I gave up," she said.

"What were you supposed to do, Liv? It had been a long time. You had to get on with your life. You know the statistics about kidnapped children; it's a miracle Kaitlyn was alive. You couldn't have known," he said.

"I should have known. I should have realized that she was still alive. I'm her mother!"

"Liv, there's no way you could have known."

"I shouldn't have let it happen in the first place."


	5. Chapter 5

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Your Star

Olivia stared at the clock, willing it to move faster. Alexis had promised to call at three, and she wanted to know what was going on. It was only two thirty. Suddenly, her phone rang. "Benson."

"The jury's out. I figured I'd better call now," Alexis said.

"Already? Why?"  
"Sedaris is an idiot. He screwed up his case when he attempted to vilify you," Alexis told her. "It shouldn't be too much longer. You and Kaitlyn should come back." Olivia bit her lip. She really didn't want to see Nico again.

"I don't know, Alex. I can't face him again," she said. _I can't face anyone again. I've embarrassed myself enough already_, she added in her mind.

"I understand. I'll call you when the verdict comes in, okay?"

"Yeah, that sounds great," Olivia replied.

"How are you doing, Olivia?" she asked. Olivia was amazed; this girl had only been working for a few days and she could already read Liv just the way Alex had.

"I'm fine," Liv replied.

"Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic and Exhausted?"

"I'm fine."

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Olivia stood in the doorway to Kaitlyn's room, watching her sleep. _How could something so wonderful come from something so evil?_ she thought. With a sigh, she turned and walked into her own bedroom, only to be forced back into the living room by her ringing cell phone. "Benson."

"Hey Liv, it's Don." Olivia smiled. Cragen was practically her father.

"Hey Don."

"Alexis told me the verdict. How are you holding up?" he asked. Olivia's smile faded at the question. Nico was going to jail, but it didn't change anything.

"I'm fine," she replied. She heard him pause, and took the opportunity. "Did she tell you what I said in court?"

"Yeah, Liv. She did. Liv, if I'd known…"

"You wouldn't have been able to do anything," she cut him off. "It's over, Don. And I'm going to be okay. God only knows how long it will take, but I'm going to be okay."

"Liv, you know if you need time…"

"I know, Don. I'll see you in the morning," she said. They quickly exchanged goodbyes and hung up. Olivia immediately dialed Elliot's number. "We need to talk, El. Come over?"

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A very tired looking Elliot stood in her doorway as she pulled it open. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"I wish everyone would stop asking me that," Olivia told him. He came into the apartment, gently wrapping his arms around her. He shut the door with his foot as he held onto her.

"It's a big deal, Liv. We're just worried," he replied.

"No one treated you like a ticking time bomb after you admitted that your dad beat you," she said. The words stung, but not as much as she feared they would.

"Everyone already knew I was a time bomb. I take it out on perps, but you… You internalize it. You don't just tell people things. What happened to you… Liv that's ten times worse than anything I've ever had to deal with."

"So you think I'm weak?" she asked. Elliot shook his head.

"No. Most people would have self destructed if they were put through half the hell you've endured. You didn't," he replied. Olivia shook her head.

"How do you know? How do you know I haven't already self destructed? That I'm not self destructing right now?" she asked. She was beginning to cry.

"I don't. But the fact is, even if you have already self destructed, you pulled yourself back together. And if you haven't, then when it does happen, you'll pull yourself together," he said.

"But how do you know, El? How do you know what's going on in my head?"

"I don't. I can't possibly imagine…"

"I don't think I can do this, Elliot," she said.

"Do what?"

"This. Getting married. Having kids. There's just too much pain there," she said. Elliot closed his eyes. "I love you, El. I'm just not ready for this. Not again."

"Livia, I love you. I'm not going to hurt you," he said.

"I just can't believe that, El. I can't stop thinking like a victim, El, and I don't think I'll ever get used to thinking like a cop again," she confided. She her head back and kissed him on the lips as she removed the engagement ring from her finger. "Please don't think of this as rejection," she told him. She gently placed the ring into his hand.

"I'm not going to give up on you, Olivia," he said.

"I don't expect you to."

A/n: I know, you hate me! It'll all come together soon, Girl Scout's honor.


	6. Chapter 6

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Your Star

A/n: Man. So all I had to do to get you to review was make them break up? Maybe I should do that more often… Nah. Too much work.

Olivia looked across her bed at the clock. She didn't want to get up and go in, but she'd told Cragen she was coming. Finally, she forced herself to go to sleep.

She didn't wake up until well after her alarm clock had gone off, which surprised her. She wasn't sure what had happened to morning sickness, but she certainly didn't miss it. Unfortunately, it meant that she and Kaitlyn were running late. She hurried out of her room and into the other bedroom to wake Kaitlyn up. "Get up, we're late," she said, shaking her daughter. Kaitlyn rolled over and looked at her clock.

"Crap!" the girl yelled, jumping out of the bed. The two hurried around the apartment, getting ready for work or school, and occasionally causing some minor collisions with furniture. Finally, with two minutes to spare, they were ready. "What happened?"

"No morning sickness," Olivia told her.

"Note to self: set alarm clock," Kaitlyn said. Olivia smiled and ushered her out the door and down the stairs to the street. Kaitlyn hurried off to meet her ride and Olivia dug out her keys, just as Elliot pulled up.

"Morning," he said, getting out of the car and smiling.

"You're awfully happy today," she said. She still felt bad about breaking things off with him the night before. But she was more surprised than anything. She'd assumed he wouldn't be picking her up any more.

"Listen, Liv, I want you to keep this," he said. He pulled the engagement ring out of his pocket.

"Elliot…"

"Just hear me out. I bought this for you. You are the only person I want to have this. It doesn't even have to be an engagement ring if you aren't ready," he said. He slipped it onto her right hand. "I love you, Liv. This doesn't change anything."

"I'm just so scared, El. After everything that's happened the past couple of months…"

"I know. But Liv, you haven't got anything to be afraid of now. They can't hurt you any more," he reminded her.

"But what about the babies, El? What if I hurt them? You know as well as I do that most abusers were abused themselves," she said. Elliot closed his eyes.

"You're a good person, Liv. You know what that can do, and I know you wouldn't do that to our children," he said. Then he smiled. "And you said it again."

"Said what?"

"Babies. Plural," he said, smiling even wider. Olivia rolled her eyes.

"Let's just go before Mrs. Prescott sees us," she said, smiling back at him. He walked around to the driver's side as she got into the passenger's seat.

"So you agree with me?" he asked.

"I think you're insane," she replied. It felt good to smile. It was what she'd needed all along.

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"Olivia." Olivia looked up to find Cragen looking at her. She stood and walked into his office. He closed the door and went around his desk. "Sit down, Liv," he told her.

"What's up?" she asked. He looked her in the eye.

"I'm worried about you, Olivia," he told her.

"I'm fine, Don."

"No, Liv, you aren't. You just had to get in front of a jury and tell them something that you hadn't told anyone before. In the past month you've been to hell and back, and you won't talk to anyone about it," he said.

"There's nothing to talk about. I'm fine."

"Olivia, don't lie to me. You're wearing your ring on the wrong hand," he pointed out.

"I'm just not ready to get married right now," she explained.

"Why?"

"It's personal, Don," she said.

"And that's exactly my point. You ended your engagement over all of this… Liv, I know you better than that. You and Elliot are in love, and you know that as well as I do. What are you afraid of?" he asked.

"I made a mistake last time, okay? I just don't want to make another mistake," she explained. She looked down at the ring.

"Liv, I think you should talk to Huang," he told her.

"I don't need to see a shrink."

"Prove it. Just go talk to him. And no BS," he said. Olivia hung her head.

"Is that an order?"

"It is."

"Fine. When?" she asked.

"Now. He's in the crib waiting for you," Cragen told her.

"How did you know I'd agree?"

"You don't disobey order," Cragen said. Olivia nodded and headed towards the door. "Liv, I'm only doing this because I don't want to see you make a mistake."

"I know. But I think it's too late for that."

A/n: Okay, and the running into furniture bit is a joke. I ran into a filing cabinet today. The only thing funnier than the event was my Biology teacher's face when I told her what I'd done… she found it quite funny that I would admit to running into a filing cabinet.


	7. Chapter 7

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A/n: Okay, so this one is going to be longer than the ones that came before it. But I'm sure y'all won't mind… Oh, and I made a typo in the last chapter. Cragen's last words are supposed to be "You don't disobey orders," not "order." Sorry about that!

"Olivia, why do you think you're going to become your mother?" Huang asked her.

"I never said that," she replied.

"But it's what you meant, isn't it?"

"Every girl turns into her mother when she has kids of her own," Olivia answered.

"What makes you say that?" he asked.

"I don't know. I have no idea why I think I'm going to turn into her. For all I know, I could end up being my father!" she said. She stared down at her shoes, tears forming in her eyes.

"That's the real problem, isn't it? It's not that you're afraid you're going to be like them, it's that you don't know what to expect," Huang told her. She nodded as he reached out and touched her hand. "Olivia, you've already proved that you're better than them. You're a cop. You hardly ever drink… you're so far from being anything like your parents. It's your decision what type of mother you'll be… genes don't matter."

"I don't know how to be a mother. Or a wife. I screwed up royally the first time around," she said. Huang shook his head.

"No, Liv, you didn't. You didn't get a chance to be either of those things. Not really. None of that was your fault."

"George, that's the exact same thing we tell every rape victim who comes through here," she replied.

"Why do you tell them that?" he asked.

"Because it's true for them."

"Then why not for you?"

"Because I had a choice. I could have left him," she replied.

"You were going to, weren't you?" he asked.

"Yes. But I sat there and let him keep it up for over a year," she reminded him.

"And some rape victims don't report for months. Some children are abused by their father or mother for years before they admit it. Does that make it their own fault?" he asked.

"Of course not," she replied.

"Then why does that make it your fault?"

"Because I'm a cop!"

"You weren't a cop when this happened, Olivia. Even if you had been, it still wouldn't have been your fault," he said. Olivia stood up and walked over to the window that looked out over the bullpen.

"I don't want to talk about it," she said. George watched her as she stared down at everyone.

"Olivia, I'm not going to lie to Captain Cragen. I think you should talk to someone about all of this," he told her.

"I'm not crazy, George," she replied.

"I never said you were. You've been through a lot lately, Liv. No matter how strong you think you are, you know this is hurting you. No one can handle something like this alone," he told her. He got up and walked up behind her. He could tell she was beginning to cry. "I know you don't believe me, but you need help with this Olivia."

"I just can't take it all again," she replied.

"It'll help. I promise," he said. "You know what's said is confidential, but if you'd rather talk to someone else, I know people you can talk to."

"It's hard enough talking to people I know."

"Some people find it easier to talk to a stranger about these things," he told her. He watched as she put her hand to the glass, watching the people below.

"Why talk to someone else? You already know more about me than anyone else I work with, Elliot included."

"If we're going to do this, you can't bull shit with me," he told her. "You've got to be honest with me. And, more importantly, with yourself." He paused for a moment. "It might be easier if you told Elliot first."

"I can't tell him. He's got enough shit of his own to deal with," she replied.

"He deserves to know, Olivia. If you're going to marry him, you'll have to tell him eventually," Huang said. Olivia bit her lip and nodded.

"I know."

"If he really loves you, he can handle it. And you should tell Kaitlyn. You don't have to tell her now, but when she's an adult she needs to know the whole truth," he told her.

"Okay," she said, turning around. She leaned back against the windows, looking around the room. "Anything else?"

"It's alright to be afraid, Olivia. Just don't let fear force you to do something that you'll regret later," George told her.

"It's a little late for that."

A/n: Okay, I revamped the ending a bit. I just wasn't getting a major brainwave as to how to begin chapter 8, so I had to do a little addition.


	8. Chapter 8

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Your Star

Elliot knocked gently on Olivia's door. He wasn't sure if she would want him to be there, but he knew she needed to talk about it. He was surprised to see her smile when she opened the door. "Hey El," she said, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him close to her for a kiss.

"You're in a good mood tonight," he replied, after she'd pulled away. He glanced at her hand, and saw the ring back on her left hand. "I must say, your ring looks better there." She looked down at her hand and smiled.

"Yeah. It does. If the offer's still on the table, that is," she replied.

"It never got taken off the table," he whispered, leaning down to kiss her again. "Hey, why don't we go get some dinner?"

"I cooked," Olivia replied.

"You cook?" he asked, surprised.

"Yeah I cook. How do you think I managed living with a drunk mother without knowing how to cook?" she asked him.

"Good point," he replied, finally closing the apartment door. "Where's Kaitlyn?"

"Sleepover at Heather and Amanda's," Olivia replied. "Meaning we've got the apartment to ourselves." She smiled at him mischievously.

"I like the way you think," he said, leaning down to kiss her again. His hands began moving slowly towards the waistline of her pants, as he untucked the white shirt she was wearing under her sweater. She moved closer to him, deepening the kiss. Suddenly, she pulled back.

"As much as I want to continue, the food's getting cold," she said, gently loosening the grip he had on her shirt.

"You're right," he said, kissing her one more time before letting go. "You need to eat."

"I'm sure you do, too," she said.

"I'm not pregnant."

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Olivia leaned back against Elliot's chest. "So, where were we before we ate?" he asked, leaning down to kiss her neck. They were laying on the couch, with Olivia leaning back against him.

"Can it wait just a little longer?" she asked. He pulled back.

"If you don't want to, we don't have to," he said.

"No, I want to, El. But we need to talk about… stuff, first," she said. She pulled one of his hands so it rested on her belly. "I'm sorry about trying to ruin everything."

"You didn't," he insisted. He used his free hand to pull the hair out of her face.

"I'm just so afraid I'm going to screw up again," she whispered. "With Nico, everything was so perfect until I told him I didn't want kids right away. I told him before we got married that we would have to wait on that, but apparently he didn't listen." She closed her eyes and pursed her lips, causing Elliot to hold her just that much tighter. He had to let her know he was there for her.

"I wouldn't hurt you, Liv. You know that," he whispered.

"I knew I wasn't in love with him. He was just another way to get back at my mother… I didn't think he would be like her…" Olivia's voice trailed off. Elliot gently stroked her arm in a reassuring gesture. He knew she had to do this, but he didn't want to force the issue. "I'm sorry, El."

"You don't have to be sorry, Liv. You didn't do anything wrong," he assured her. She turned so that she could see him.

"I love you, El. More than you'll ever know," she whispered. She gently kissed him, before standing up and pulling on his arms. He followed suit before leaning in to kiss her, going back to the hems of her shirts. He gently reached underneath them, running his hands across the smooth skin of her abdomen. She took off his tie and began unbuttoning his shirt, pulling it out of the waist of his pants. She carefully undid the belt buckle, pulling away from his kiss to force it open. She pulled the belt off his pants before going back to kiss him again. Finally, she pulled herself away from him and stood up, wiggling out of his grip.

"Where are you going?" he asked. She smiled and pulled on his hand, signaling that he should follow her. He got up, wrapping his arms around her shoulders so that she could lead him and he could still kiss her neck. She led him into her bedroom and then turned around to face him. They began to kiss again as Elliot's hands played with the button on her jeans. She pushed his dress shirt down his arms until he could throw it off. He pushed her sweater and white shirt up, and then helped her take them off. Then he removed his undershirt, exposing his chest in the darkness of the room. "I love you," he whispered, as he began to remove her bra.

"I love you too," she replied.

A/n: Okay, so I suck at writing sex scenes, which is why I'm stopping here. I know you probably hate me, but deal with it. Plus, I don't think it's appropriate to go any further, going by the ratings guide.


	9. Chapter 9

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Your Star

A/n: **ALEX IS COMING BACK! ALEX IS COMING BACK!** Can you tell I'm excited? Okay, so that's a spoiler for Tuesday, but come on… it's a big deal!

Elliot gently kissed the back of Olivia's neck as she put on her makeup. Then he straightened up and finished tying his tie. "I don't see why you're even putting the tie back on," she teased, smiling.

"Mrs. Prescott would have a heart attack if she saw me without a tie," he said, smiling back at her. He kissed her cheek quickly. "I'm going to go home, shower and change. I'll come back to pick you up in two hours, okay?" he asked.

"Yeah. See you at ten," she replied. He kissed her once more before showing himself out. She smiled back at her reflection, thinking about the night before. Elliot had been so kind to her… even after she'd been such a bitch to him. The ringing of her telephone snapped her out of her reverie. "Benson," she said, picking up the receiver.

"Hey Mom. Just calling to check in," Kaitlyn replied.

"Hey Kaity. You on your way to school?" she asked.

"Yeah," Kaitlyn told her.

"Alright. I'll see you this afternoon, okay?" she asked.

"Okay. I gotta go. Love you!" her daughter said. She hung up without saying goodbye, leaving Olivia with a dead line.

"I've got to work with her on phone manners," she muttered, hanging up the telephone.

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Olivia smiled at Elliot from across the room. "Aren't you excited?" she asked.

"Of course I am. But I don't like sitting here waiting," he replied, smiling back at her. She rolled her eyes.

"Patience is a virtue, Stabler. And doctors visits require a hell of a lot," she replied. He got up and walked over to her, putting his arms around her.

"I'm glad to see the Olivia Benson I fell in love with has come back," he said, kissing her.

"Hey now, no funny business. We've got to go to work after this," she reminded him, pulling his roaming hands back in front of her. She slid her fingers between his, holding his hands with hers.

"I know. But sometimes, you just drive me crazy," he whispered, kissing her cheek. She pushed him away.

"Calm down, Romeo. There'll be time for that later," she replied, now speaking in a whisper herself. "Why don't you go sit down before I become too tempting for you, alright?" He went back to his seat and smiled at her evilly from across the room. "What now?" she asked, unable to look serious.

"Just thinking," he said, his smile widening. She rolled her eyes.

"If that's what comes from your mind, then don't think," she told him. He smiled normally. Before he could reply with a smart comment, the doctor came in.

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Fin watched as Olivia walked into the bullpen, hung up her coat, and sat down, in complete and utter silence. "You okay, baby?" he asked. She didn't look up, which worried him even more. He walked over and gently touched her shoulder. "Liv?" She still didn't respond. "Olivia, what's the matter?" he asked, shaking her just a little. He knelt down and looked up at her eyes. He could see that she'd been crying.

"I… I can't do this," she whispered. Fin watched as her tears began to fall.

"Do what, baby?" he asked. Her strange behavior was seriously beginning to scare him. He watched her for a moment. "Liv, what can't you do?"

"It was okay before… there was only one. But now… I can't handle two," she whispered. Fin looked up as he heard Elliot walk into the room.

"Thanks, Fin. I'll take it from here," he said, gently pulling Olivia to her feet. "C'mon, Liv. Let's go home," he said. Olivia leaned against him, sobbing into his shirt.

"I can't do this," she sobbed. Fin watched as Elliot wrapped his arms around her, kissing her cheek. "I'm scared."

"I know, Liv. It's okay," Elliot whispered. Finally, her sobs quieted. "Are you ready to go?"

"No, I'll be okay… I just need to get some air," she whispered, grabbing her coat. Elliot kissed her cheek and let her go before turning to Fin.

"I'm sorry about that. She was fine in the car," Elliot told him.

"Spill," Fin said, leaning against Olivia's desk. A lot of the conversation he'd had with Liv didn't make sense.

"Twins," Elliot replied. Fin's lower jaw hit the ground.


	10. Chapter 10

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Your Star

"You gotta be kidding me," Fin said. Elliot shook his head. "What's got her so upset? You'd think she'd be happy."

"Fin, it was hard enough for her when there was only one baby," Elliot reminded him. "I just hope she's going to get over whatever it is that's making her freak out so much."

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Olivia looked out over the city, trying to calm herself down. _Twins_, she thought, closing her eyes. "I can do this," she whispered, more for her own benefit than anything else.

"Yes, you can," Elliot whispered, coming up behind her. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on her shoulder. She reached up and gripped his wrists with her hands.

"What are we going to do, El?" she asked.

"Whatever it takes," he replied.

"These two make seven," she replied.

"I know. But we'll figure it out, Liv."

"I'm scared, El. Two at once… It's harder, isn't it?" she asked.

"Yeah, of course it's harder. But it's a hell of a lot more fun, too," he told her. She watched the city stretching out around them. "Liv, no matter what, I'm going to be here, okay? I'm not going to abandon you or these babies."

"I know. It's what I'll do that worries me," she replied.

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"I heard about the other day, Liv. Tell me about it," Huang said. Olivia sighed.

"I had a doctors appointment… I found out that I'm having twins."

"And that scared you?"

"Yeah. I screwed up so badly with one, I'm afraid of the damage I'd do on two," she replied.

"Kaitlyn's a perfectly normal teenager. She's got issues, but all teenagers do; none of it is your fault," he reminded her.

"I didn't have a real mother, and I've never had to be one before," she replied.

"Not to a small child, no. But I've seen you with Kaitlyn, and even with Elliot's kids. The children you see coming through here as victims. You're great with kids, Liv," he told her.

"But at the end of the day, it's not my fault if they screw up. Most of those victims, I never see again. Elliot's kids go back to Kathy at the end of the day. And I had no hand in raising Kaitlyn," she told him. He stared at her. Finally, it began to annoy her. "What do you want me to say, George?"

"It doesn't matter what I want you to say. What you need to say is the important thing," he told her.

"And what would that be? That I'm afraid of becoming a mother because of how my mother treated me? That I'm afraid I'm going to chase my child with a broken wine bottle one day?" she asked. George raised one eyebrow.

"Tell me about that," he said. She looked down, mentally kicking herself. She really hated reliving that experience.

"My mother was an English professor. When I was sixteen, I started dating one of her students; a senior. We… were engaged. When I told her, she flipped out. She dropped the bottle she was holding… it had been half full. She picked up one of the pieces and started coming at me," Olivia said. Tears were burning in her eyes as she fought to contain them.

"What did you do?" he asked.

"I… I kicked her. She went flying across the room, hit the wall. I don't know what she did after that. I left," she said. "I didn't talk to her for five years after that. Not until after Nico had left with Kaitlyn. I never even told her she had a granddaughter." Olivia broke down and let the tears fall, wiping them away with the back of her hand. "I couldn't tell her that I'd screwed up. I wanted her to think that I was better than that… better than her. I wanted her to think that her drinking hadn't effected me… that all the abuse hadn't effected me."

"But it did," George said. It wasn't a question, but a statement.

"Yeah. It did. I just wanted to prove to her that I was better than all of that… that I wasn't like my father. Instead, I just made myself vulnerable," she said.

"Did you even tell her that you'd married Nico?"

"I was too ashamed. I left her because I was tired of being a victim, but then I put myself into a situation to become a victim all over again," she told him.

"Why do you blame yourself for all of this?" George asked.

"I don't know. But when you figure it out, would you mind telling me?" she asked him.


	11. Chapter 11

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Your Star

A/n: Okay, I'm doing research for another fic, so I need episode names for the following occurrences: Olivia & Cassidy sleeping together, Cassidy leaving SVU. I've got a little timeline going in the story, and I need the dates from those episodes to finish constructing it, and I can't remember the names of those episodes. So, if you know, please leave me a review with the info or e-mail it to me. Anyone who can give me the right info gets a magic brownie! Holds up brownie Doesn't it look yummy?

Olivia scooted closer to Elliot as he slept, wanting to feel him next to her. Needing to feel him. "Liv?" he asked, waking up a little.

"Go back to sleep," she whispered, kissing his cheek.

"You can't sleep?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she replied. He pulled her closer to him, wrapping his arms around her body and gently massaging her back with his fingertips.

"You're tense," he replied. "Relax." She complied somewhat, allowing her body to lie against his. "Now, what's keeping you up?"

"It's nothing, Elliot. Really. I just needed to be sure you were still there," she replied. She closed her eyes as she turned her face in towards his chest. She smiled as she felt him hold on to her just a little bit tighter.

"I'll always be right here, Liv," he replied. He gently kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes again, slipping back into sleep.

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Olivia gently disentangled herself from Elliot's arm just as the alarm clock began going off in Kaitlyn's room. She shut her own of quickly, before it had a chance to begin screaming. Then, moving quietly, she went into her daughter's room, shutting off the alarm and shaking the girl's arm gently. "Kaity, wake up," she said. Kaitlyn opened her eyes and looked around, noticing her mother's tired eyes.

"Mom, what's wrong?" she asked, concerned.

"I'm fine. You need to get up and get ready for school," Olivia replied. She turned and left the room. She returned to her own room and gently shook Elliot. "Wake up sleepyhead," she said, kissing his cheek. He smiled and opened his eyes, but his smile disappeared when he looked at her.

"Liv… you didn't sleep, did you?" he asked. She turned away from him, but he stood up and wrapped his arms around her. "Liv, tell me what's bothering you."

"Kaity's going to be sixteen in two weeks," she stated.

"I know."

"I'm three months pregnant with her new siblings… doesn't something seem wrong about that, El?" she asked. Elliot sighed.

"No, it doesn't. And that isn't what's really bothering you," he accused.

"How do you know? You can't read my mind, Elliot," she said.

"Because I know you better than that. Liv, you know you can talk to me, no matter what it is," he said, pulling her close to him. "I know you're afraid, Liv, but you don't have to be."

"I can't exactly help it, El… I'm not supposed to be afraid. I'm a cop, for heaven's sake!" She was careful with her words. She always was when Elliot was around. Just because she didn't believe in God didn't mean she couldn't respect his beliefs.

"And you've been to hell and back," he reminded her. He gently kissed her neck. "Why don't you lay back down and try to get some sleep. I'll call Cragen and tell him you're not feeling well."

"No, I'm going to work. Go ahead and get in the shower," she said. He sighed and gave in, knowing it would be best not to fight her. She could always go to the crib if she decided she needed to sleep, and Cragen certainly wasn't going to yell at a pregnant woman for sleeping.

By the time Elliot had finished in the shower, Olivia had already fallen asleep in the bed again. He smiled and dialed the captain's number to let him know Liv wouldn't be coming in. Before he left, while simultaneously ushering Kaitlyn out the door, he went into the room and kissed her, leaving a note next to her alarm clock where she would be sure to see it.

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Elliot knocked on the door to Liv's apartment cautiously. After he'd let her sleep that morning, he couldn't be sure of her mood. He was spared her wrath for a moment by the fact that Kaitlyn answered the door. Unfortunately, she appeared concerned.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Mom's been sick all day. I'm worried," she replied. Elliot walked into the apartment and back into the bedroom. Seeing it empty, he went into the bathroom, where Liv was making a sacrifice to the porcelain god.

"Livia? You okay?" he asked, pulling the hair back from her face. He knelt down on the bathroom's cold tile next to her. She leaned against him, closing her eyes.

"I feel like shit," she muttered. He gently kissed her forehead, checking to see if she had a fever. She didn't appear to.

"Okay, why don't we get you into bed," he suggested. He got up and slowly picked her up in his arms. Her head leaned against his shoulder. Her condition scared the hell out of him. He laid her down and pulled out his cell phone.

A/n: Hmm…. Okay, and I'm not posting anymore until y'all start reviewing again… You're upsetting me!


	12. Chapter 12

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Your Star

A/n: Thanks to everyone who has reviewed! And to those who gave me the info I needed… your brownies are in the mail. And sorry it took me so long. I've been busy… I have to write a biography on Francisco Goya… IN SPANISH

Olivia opened her eyes slowly and looked down at the hand that was holding her own. Her eyes followed the arm up to where Elliot's head was leaned back against the chair, his eyes closed. She gently squeezed his hand, smiling. He opened his eyes and smiled.

"You're awake," he replied.

"What happened?" she asked him. His smile dimmed somewhat.

"You were dehydrated," he replied. He gently rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb.

"Everything's okay though, right?" she asked.

"Liv, there's a problem with one baby's heart," he said. He looked down at the floor. She closed her eyes and sighed.

"It'll be okay, right?" she asked.

"I don't know. The doctor said they wouldn't know how severe the problem is until after the baby's born," Elliot told her. She felt tears begin to form and quickly wiped them away. "It'll be okay, Liv."

"I'm sorry, El," she whispered. He shook his head.

"Don't. Don't say that. This isn't your fault Olivia. You couldn't control this," he told her. He stood up and wrapped his arms around her, kissing the top of her head.

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Two Months Later…

Olivia thought she would scream if one more person made any kind of comment about her being pregnant. Fin, Munch, Cassidy and O'Kelley were okay… it was the people from other parts of the precinct that were driving her insane. Not to mention being stuck at a desk for eight hours.

"Gabrielle," Elliot suggested from his desk.

"No way. Stephanie," Olivia replied.

"Ex-girlfriend… not pretty. Jacob."

"Jacob's okay. I prefer Joshua, though."

"No. Guy Stephanie broke up with me for." Olivia rolled her eyes.

"Why is it that every name I come up with is someone from your past that I don't know?" she asked.

"I know a lot of people. What's wrong with Gabrielle?"

"Next door neighbor growing up… pushed me down a flight of stairs."

"Why?"

"I told her boyfriend that Gabrielle was really Gabriel," Olivia said, smiling.

"Why did you do that?" Elliot asked. Suddenly reality hit him like a ton of bricks. "Your neighbor was a tranny?"

"Yep. And a very ugly one, at that," Olivia said. Her smile dropped. "I'm surprised she hasn't been found dead in a dumpster yet." She went back to her paperwork as Elliot answered his ringing phone. The conversation was short.

"If he starts looking for me, tell Cragen I got called to the morgue," he told her. She nodded to indicate she'd heard him and he left quickly. It wasn't long before Cassidy was sitting in Elliot's chair across from her.

"What's up?" she asked.

"I wanted to apologize," he told her. She looked at him, one eyebrow raised.

"What for?"

"What happened a few years ago…"

"Don't even start. It's over, and we're fine," she told him. He smiled.

"I was a jerk."

"And so was I. It's okay, Brian. Don't sweat it."

"So we're cool?" he asked.

"Yeah, we're cool."


	13. Chapter 13

**Your Star**

A/n: Wonderful… Just as I'm getting over writer's block, I catch what I think might be strep throat… just freakin wonderful.

Munch watched quietly from his desk as Elliot walked straight through the bullpen and into Cragen's office. He and Liv had gone to a doctor's appointment, and apparently Liv would not be returning to work that day, as she was not following him.

"What's wrong with him?" Fin asked. Munch looked over the top of his sunglasses at his partner.

"My guess would be baby trouble, seeing as Liv's nowhere to be seen," he replied. The two went back to their paperwork until Elliot and Cragen walked out of the office.

"Take the rest of the day off. She needs you right now," Cragen told him.

"You know as well as I do that she'll be back in a week," Elliot said.

"Knowing Liv, yeah. But for right now, you need to keep her from trying it."

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Olivia sat on her couch with her arms folded, glaring at Elliot. "I'm not an invalid, you know," she said. He could tell from her tone of voice that she was pissed at him.

"Liv, you're supposed to be on bed rest," he reminded her. She rolled her eyes.

"Stabler, I'm fine."

"Liv, you're six months pregnant with twins," he started. He walked over to her and took her hand. "You've got to do what the doctor says, Liv. You heard her…"

"Elliot, there is nothing wrong with me," she told him, pushing herself to her feet. She brushed past him and into her daughter's bedroom to put away clothes. "I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself." He followed her, stopping in the doorway.

"Olivia, would you stop being so damn self-reliant and just let me help you?" he asked. She turned to him, her eyes shooting daggers.

"I don't need your help, Elliot. I'm thirty-six and perfectly capable of caring for myself," she told him. "Maybe you should go home and take care of your own family." She knew that her words bit. She stood still for a moment, waiting for him to leave. Instead, he softly walked over and wrapped his arms around her.

"You forget that part of my family is right here," he told her, gently placing his hands on her belly. He tried to kiss her cheek, but she turned away. "Why are you being so damn stubborn? What did they do to you that made you this way?" he asked, his voice soft and not accusing. She pulled away. "Liv…"

"I'm sorry," she whispered. She put down the clothing she had been putting away and walked out of the bedroom, back to the couch. He followed her, wanting to know what she was thinking.

"Olivia?"

"It's nothing, El. Defensive mechanism. That's all," she said. He came and sat down beside her. She took his and intertwined their fingers. "I'm just not used to unconditional love."

"Olivia…"

"No El, listen. My mother didn't love me when I was young. The only time I can ever remember her acting like she even remotely loved me was eight years ago, during the case with that cab driver. Nico didn't love me… I was a trophy for him.

"But you… El, you've stuck with me through the past six months, no matter how much shit I've put you through. You're the only person who's ever done that for me. It scares me, knowing that I can push you away and you'll still come back," she told him. He gently kissed the back of her hand.

"Don't be scared, Liv. You deserve it."

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**Two Months Later…**

Elliot woke up and felt Olivia forcing herself out of the bed. "Liv?" he asked, his voice kept to a whisper. Kaitlyn and Lizzie were in the next room asleep, and Dickie was on the couch. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," she whispered. He sat up and watched her, knowing that she was lying. It was only a moment before she bent over in pain and he was by her side.

"Come on, we'd better get you to the hospital," he said, kissing her cheek.


	14. Chapter 14

**Your Star**

A/n: Okay, this is the last chapter. I decided not to include a wedding… maybe I'll do that some time in the future. But at the moment I have 2 more stories with first chapters completed, and one that I'm still deciding what to do with, so it's time for this story to say goodbye.

Elliot sat down silently next to the incubator where his new daughter, Lydia, was housed. She was smaller than Maria, her twin. Maria was in the regular nursery, but Lydia was in the NICU because of her heart.

Poor, precious Lydia, whose frail body wanted nothing more than an end. She was only a few hours old, and already her heart had stopped beating several times. He felt helpless, watching his youngest daughter die.

Liv couldn't stop crying long enough to see her. The doctor had been blunt: Lydia was too small and weak to make it through the night. Just the thought of losing her was too much for Liv to bear. Olivia was the one who wanted him to sit with her, so that Lydia wouldn't have to be alone when it happened.

It wasn't that there was no hope… just not much. If Lydia did survive… and that was still a big if… they could fix her heart. But that didn't seem very likely.

"Dad," a voice said. Elliot snapped out of his thoughts and smiled up at his oldest daughter.

"Hey Maureen," he replied. He watched as his eldest looked down at his youngest lovingly, just like the overprotective big sister that she was.

"You should go, Dad. Olivia needs you. I'll stay here," she offered. He nodded and got up to leave, kissing her forehead as he passed.

"It's time to let go," he whispered, his own quiet way of telling her that Lydia didn't have much time left.

"At least it isn't goodbye forever," she replied. He gave his daughter one more hug before leaving the unit to see Olivia.

When he walked into her room, she was asleep. He looked at her tear stained face and finally let his own tears flow.

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**Two Weeks Later…**

Elliot stood behind the rocking chair and smiled down at the baby in Olivia's arms.

"Now do you believe in miracles?" he asked.

"Every second of every day," she replied, taking Lydia's tiny hand in her own.

A/n: I know it's short, but I just wanted to end it. And hey, there's still a wedding coming some time in the future!


End file.
